The Secret to “Adulting”
Students in higher education often refer to finding their own apartment, buying a car, or making a detailed plan for work and school responsibilities, as “adulting.'' Generally taking charge of your life without much help from family or teachers is a tangible step for certain, and something to celebrate. However, from my perspective, I consider that students have passed that threshold into adulthood more from building a willingness to take risks and having a positive attitude.
In my latest book, The Empowered Performer, I describe how we grow in general (and as performers) if we are ready to try new things when we are not already good at them.
It is a risk, but one with great benefits. If you are willing to try new approaches or ideas in many areas of your life, imagine how much easier it will be to take new chances in performance that will add that extra spark.
For example: I had a wonderful study abroad experience in Germany as an undergrad. I lived with a local host family and while my fluency improved tremendously over the course of my stay, I made a fool of myself several times in the first few weeks. I tried, I made mistakes, I improved, and I was able to laugh at myself.
The year previous, that family had a student who never spoke. She said she would not speak until she knew the language perfectly.
The family was puzzled, a bit offended, and very hurt by her silence. Too bad she took herself so seriously; by refusing to make any mistakes, she missed out on an abundance of opportunity. By being willing to make a fool of myself, I grew in ways I never would have imagined. I then found that my attitude was helping in other areas of my life - including performing.
Another attitude that shows passage into adulthood is learning from the success of others: seeing how well another student plays or sings and being inspired by it, rather than thinking “I’ll never be that good.”
Take a chance and talk with that singer or player whose technique is better than yours, and find out how they practice or any other pieces of advice they can give. Most musicians are happy to share their success with others.
Please know that their success does not mean there is no room for you. There is no limit, no one pie to be sliced up. They might receive an award you want, or an opportunity you desire, but there are more awards and opportunities out there. It might be helpful to think of swimming in your own lane. Learn from others, but compare only YOU to you.